NCIS

Death doesn’t wait for you to clear your schedule.

“We’re Losing Him!”
“CLEAR!”
Zap
“Nothing, try again! Common Tony, don’t do this to me now.”

You know it’s there.
You can feel it following you when you are alone.
You feel it when your heart skips for no reason.

“CLEAR!”
“NOTHING!”

Most don’t think about it. It is something they’ll deal with in some far distant future. In old age.
But that’s not how it works.
It arrives on its own schedule. And when it does the person is rarely ready.

It strips away every illusion the person holds onto when it arrives.

“AGAIN!”

It whispers to those near it. Telling them wisdom if they were willing to listen.

“GOT IT!”
“MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!”

If one is smart you do not ignore it as Death is the most honest teacher, you’ll ever have.
One: Time. Every being is born running out of time. Yet humans treat time as though they will never run out of it. And are shocked when those last grains of sand drop to the bottom of their personal glass.
He was 32 and if he was lucky would last into his 80’s. That gave him close to 50 more years of life. Long? Yes. Until he realizes that his full life is front loaded and not spread out. Then if he was lucky, he may have only 20.
Simple math really.
Yet man treated life like he didn’t have to obey the math behind it.
Delaying dreams, putting off hard conversations, endlessly doing nothing. Waiting for some magical right moment that never happens.
Time isn’t just a number on a clock, and when it’s spent, it’s gone. There were no do-overs. No refunds. No rich man at the end of his life begs for more wealth. They beg for more time.

Tony envisions Corporal Yost begging for more time with his wife, and in his confusion claiming to have killed his buddy during the war, so he could join her.

Two: Guilt is not a life sentence. That voice in your head that claims its due on the violence you caused. The pain. The anguish. The death. Everything you can’t take back. It is not to be used to punish you but to show you when you’ve veered off course. You’re not supposed to dwell in it but feel it to learn from it and take those lessons to do better. The real damage to you and those around you is when you chain yourself to past mistakes and let it define your future.
Punishing yourself only weakens yourself. Forgiving yourself is not a reward, it is a necessity.
Its not about shaming the man you were but redeeming him by being the man you become.

Gibbs at his worst flashed by in full color and sound film.

Three: Death cares not about status. If it came now, would his bank account mean anything to it. Or how many people like him? How many hate him? How many awards he has? Doesn’t have? His rank? The answer is no. A peasant or king is the same to it. A sinner or saint is the same to it. It only passes them on.
Those who try to conquer death will still meet it in the end.
Those who do not fear it, in the end have nothing to fear in return.
Pride and ego have their places, but if you live your life on the external proof only, then you will fear Death in the end.

Senior flashed in his all-encompassing glory.

Four: Anthony Dominic DiNozzo JUNIOR. Death does not care about copies. It does not care how well you imitated someone. It asks one thing. Did you live fully as YOURSELF?
Too many people lived respectfully and obediently without asking, ‘who am I without all the noise?’

“What’s it like to kiss a she/he Tony?”
“Your irreplaceable Tony. Sorry McGee, you can’t have his desk yet.”

The saddest stories are about conformity. Men who smothered themselves to keep the peace. Interests hidden. Dreams delayed. Parts of you that don’t fit what you’ve been told a man should be. So, you bend and shrink to fit into someone else’s box.

“You’ll do.”
“You’re not Gibbs”
“I’m sorry Jen, I can’t take the post at Rota because Gibbs isn’t ready.”

Death only honors those who lived their lives honestly.

“You ever read Moby Dick Gibbs?”
“I think I’m falling for her Jen.”
“So, what’s it like to live a double life, Tony?”

Five: Love them before the clock runs out. Humans live in a culture that views detachment with honor and something to be looked up to. Never telling those they love and care for that they do. Until it is too late, and they or that person is gone. Remember Time is always going and fleeting and once gone it is gone.
The real danger isn’t showing you care too much, it’s waiting too long to show you do. Because once Death takes them, the only thing louder than the silence is the words you never said.

“I care for you Jeanne, but I can’t go with you.”

“He’s starting to wake up. Come on Buckeye, you can do it.”

Somehow, Tony knew no one on his team would like the new him he would be showing them now. One who would be climbing out of Gibbs’ box everyone put him in and would no longer fear the death Daveed could bring to him.

He took as deep a breath as he could, then ignored Abbey as she tried, yet again, to tell him how he should be telling IA the story that it was all his fault he got shot. After all, he wouldn’t want to destroy the family now, would he?
When she thought his silence was his way of obeying her, she hugged him and left. He contacted the nurses and order that no one from NCIS except for the actual investigators involved in the shooting were to be allowed in. Especially the woman that was just in.

Fin
6/29/2026