Not Her, But You

Forever Knight, Prose Poem, Nick’s History

Not Her
But you


April 2000

I came from war
Despondent and alone
The wish for life
All but gone

You sent her
To me unbidden
Asking that
Which was forbidden

You taste
Of fine mulled wine
Filling all the corners
Of my mind

Twas not her
But you


You show me
What can be done
When mind and body
Act as one

You heal me
With your kiss
Each moment
One of bliss

You help calm me
In the night
Your passion gentle
Yet showing your might

Twas not her
But you


Master
Father
Demon
Lover

You who
Each night
Lead me to
Greater heights

Blood and passion
Wrestle as one
At each dawning
Of the new day sun

Twas not her
But you

**End Part 1

You left us
For a time
Perhaps to taste
Another’s wine

Soon after
I found
One whose love of God
Was sound

Her arguments
And fasts
Left images
Which would last

Twas not her
But you


I came to her
And spoke of fate
She spoke to me
Of others hate

How could God exist
Asked I
How could he not
Was her reply

What of this killing
And the death
Tis our doing
When all is said

Twas not her
But you


I returned to her
‘Pon learning her fate
Hoping to reach her
‘Fore twas too late

To free her
I sought
She refused my gift
So all was for naught

She goes with great courage
To martyrdom by fire
A part of me goes with her
As I watch them light the bier

Twas not her
But you

**End Part 2

I returned to
My Sister lover friend
I thought she would stay
Till the end

Nights of passion
Days of bliss
But there was something
That we did miss

Though we
Loved each other
We found we each
Missed our other lover

Twas not her
But you


She was all
That I could hope for
But in the end
I needed more

In sensing this
My sister
Lover
After time
Left me for another

For a time I did
Cry like the rain
And showed mankind
My full disdain

Twas not her
But you


You returned then
To my side
Bringing comfort
Along with pride

We return
To the ways of old
Hunts of passion
Love so bold

Something is missing
I now find
Your love to be
Other than kind

Twas not her
But you

*End Part 3

I soon begin
To seek my own life
One which would soon
Lead to strife

Artisans
Writers
Musicians
Poets

I work with all
To learn and grow
Seeking life
Beyond the pall

Twas not her
But you


Art and knowledge
Has become my balm
That which keeps
My spirit calm

You returned
Then
Wishing to be
A family again

I cannot return
To that
Which has
Been spurned

Twas not her
But you


No longer
Father lover brother
You have made us
Master and other

My keeper
To be
No matter what
It may mean to me

Killing those who
Disagree
Pushing me
Even further from you

Twas not her
But you

*End Part 4

I made a vow
No more killing of just
Killing only the guilty
If kill I must

I return
For a time
Taking that
Which was not mine

Coming to regret
This decision
Made
With such precession

Twas not her
But you


To return to my vows
I seek the sun
Thinking if I regain this
Then I will have won

Fighting the evil
Which exists in us all
Believing any
Who would answer my call

Suffering pain
And agonies untold
In my attempts
To leave your fold

Twas not her
But you


Yet you came
Time and again
To rescue me
From sin

Be it science or magic
That I would try
You would rescue me
From my pride

You would push and prod
Possessive as ever
Angered when I cry
Never

Twas not her
But you

***End Part 5

To find myself
Awash with strangeness
Not knowing
Where this place was

         Memory has fled

Making knowledge
Of past crimes
Dead

She comes
To me then
Only saying
She is my friend

Twas not her
But you

  *****************************         

You say
The night
Is ours
Is my birthright

I find myself pulled
By two sides
Each saying
The other lies

Each only
Veiled truths say
But it I whose price
In pain must pay

Twas not her
But you


You hold out
Your hand
As one would
To a drowning man

You return to me
That which was lost
Saying for once
There is no cost

My tale is a long one
I am afraid
But I have plenty of time
Forever they say

Twas not her
But you

****End Part 6

She has returned
One you thought dead
After the taking of
Her pretty head

Daughter
Mother
One who wished to be
Your lover

Killing her rescuer
And taking his head
Delivering it up
To you in her stead

Twas not her
But you


     Getting you blamed

For her kill
Which only adds
To her thrill

Arrested and questioned
By your son
Added to the insult
Of what she has done

To your knees
You will be
Watching your precious
Community flee

Twas not her
But you


Those that would
By your side stay
Must be the first
To go away

You r precious little
Community
Shall be the
First to see

‘Pon them
She shall vent
To show you exactly
What she meant

Twas not her
But you

*****End Part 7

       She used another

As a goat to a lion
Attacking as I
Attended the dying

She left me for dead
With visions
Dancing
In the color red

Pleasure of death
Pleasure of pain
Pleasure of torture
Again and again

Twas not her
But you


I fight with the strength
You gave to me
Using it
To make me free

With freedom came
Knowledge
Of your own
Pain

   Hoping to arrive in time

To save my sire
Lover
From his daughter mother

Twas not her
But you


She has you believing
That I am gone
Has you ready to
Follow along

I arrive in time
To take her first
‘For she drains you
To slack her thirst

Together we
Prepare her bier
To finally free her soul
With fire

Twas not her
But you

***End Part 8

We return
To each other’s side
Bringing comfort
Along with pride

No longer
Master and other
We are now
Father lover brother

I show you
What can be done
When mind body and soul
Act as one

Twas not her
But you


You keep me fulfilled
Your mind and soul
As a deep pool
Stilled

I give you energy
To continue on
To live each life
To learn new songs

We teach each other
What is true in life
We aid each other
In times of strife

Twas not her
But you


     Though fight we shall

With the coming tide
We now have learned
To one another abide

We calm each other
In the night
Our passions gentle
Yet filled with might

You of fine mulled wine
I of honey and spice
Together renew
Our love of life

Twas not her
But you

**Fin**

Leave a comment