Harry Potter, Other Character, Crack Fic

Thought: What happened to the Cerberus on the third floor in HP? Why someone shrank it and kept it as a pet of course. – Samsas
Thank you ever so much for the bunny – Me

Revenge Prank

Rumor had been going around that there was a large Cerberus in the forbidden room on the third floor. Well, this mudblood was going to have a look. After all she was a great fan of the Animaniacs and Dot’s Pocket Monsters. How would those damn twins act when she pulled a Dot and pulled this out of her pocket box.

She wasn’t supposed to be able to get even with the great and wonderful Lion Twin Pranksters that Dumb-Door backed in every complaint, after all, SHE was just a dumb Puff who got put there because nowhere else would take her. Just like every other Puff.

Like normal Puff’s, she had the run of the kitchen and hallway and it was easy to get an elf to warn her if anyone else was in her area. No warning, or wards to show she was there as she unlocked the simple lock on the door.

One swish of her wand and the dog was under her command as the charm was used for dog training. A shrink spell after the stasis spell, and he was a controlled dog in her box that fit in her pocket.

Hmmm, a trapdoor, better make sure no one can get down since she was removing the guard on the door. A check and swish, the plant was now a man-eater. One whose flames would not work on.

In the mid-day of the next early afternoon, the staff was going crazy and this right after the twins pranked, yet again, on top of this the little brat, Malfoy, backed up by his sex butt buddies as the boy took to much after his “loving” father, he attacked the Lions yet again. On his way back, all smug in his win, she stepped in his way and quoted a book she knew he would never read, “What have I got in my pocket?”

He, of course damned with the word Mudblood and told me I was too beneath him to care, I just pulled out the little box and put it in my palm and showed him the simple box to his sneer.
Grabbing the top with my other hand while holding the bottom, I opened it to show the great three-headed dog’s heads coming out of the tiny box to try and take what brain’s Malfoy has in his.
The smell and sudden brown stuff dribbling under the three robes before me told its own tale, as I calmly closed the lid to the sudden silence in the room, walked over to the half-giant Keeper of the Keys and placed the box in front of him and patted it to his bright grin.

When asked later by the frowning Dumb-Door where I had found my newest box pet that I had just given to Hagrid, I acted as innocent as everyone knew the Puffs were and claimed I found it on the grand staircase and wanted to keep it safe. I did the right thing didn’t I? Wobble of the bottom lip and tears flow. Pat on the head and they told me of course, then let me go.

I did hear that Hagrid had somehow received a dragon’s egg… I wonder if it would make a good Dot monster?
Ah, well that will be another day’s plan, I wonder what’s for three-sies. This mudblooded hobbit is getting hungry.

Fin
6/16/2026

Edit
6/29/2026